Acronym Titles Ranked According to How Fun They Are to Say Aloud

One of this weekend’s most anticipated new movies — or to put it more accurately, this week’s most anticipated new movie about motorcycle-riding police officers in California — is CHiPs (Cannibalistic Humanoid Police). The film stars world-renowned funnyman and husband to Kristen Bell, Dax Shepard, who also directed, wrote, and produced the film. We haven’t

Continue Reading →

Tale As Old As Time: Disney’s ‘Beauty and the Beast’ Gay Nontroversy

The rapidly growing self-cannibalization wing of Walt Disney Pictures has manufactured a new live-action version of Beauty and the Beast that courted controversy from the moment it was announced. First people were upset by the casting of normal human actors in roles previously intended for enchanted knick-knacks (where else is a talking candlestick supposed to get work

Continue Reading →

A Memo from the Umbrella Corporation

To: Umbrella Corp Employees From: Albert Wesker CC: Infected Date: 1/27/17 Re: Sident Evil First off, I would like to issue my sincere thanks for your loyalty and dedication. This dedication is especially touching considering the recent, completely unfounded allegations that the Umbrella Corporation literally murdered an entire facility full of workers in an effort

Continue Reading →