A Memo from the Umbrella Corporation

To: Umbrella Corp Employees From: Albert Wesker CC: Infected Date: 1/27/17 Re: Sident Evil First off, I would like to issue my sincere thanks for your loyalty and dedication. This dedication is especially touching considering the recent, completely unfounded allegations that the Umbrella Corporation literally murdered an entire facility full of workers in an effort

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Eric D. Snider’s 2017 Sundance Diary: Day 3-4

Day 3: Saturday, Jan. 21 As you probably heard (unless Fox News is your only source of information), there were numerous large protest marches throughout the world today, as people took to the streets to register their dissatisfaction with the latest Underworld movie. No, I kid, it was about Trump. Chelsea Handler helped organize a

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Eric D. Snider’s 2017 Sundance Diary: Day 1-2

Listen! Do you smell that? It’s the Sundance Film Festival, back for another year of showcasing new independent films and terrorizing the helpless town of Park City, Utah. The mood is slightly muted this year, partly because there wasn’t much pre-festival buzz about any of the films, partly because Park City is a wintry hellscape,

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Will Smith’s Bad Choices: A Fake Oral History

A few days ago, a picture from Will Smith’s upcoming film Bright surfaced. Smith is on set, smiling with a cop’s handlebar mustache and uniform with a medal draped over his chest. Next to him is a similarly-dressed being with mottled green-yellow skin and inhuman features. Yes, Smith’s new film is a buddy cop movie

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The Underworld Movies: What Is the Deal with Them?

It’s a common problem. In fact, it happened to so many of you just last weekend. A quiet moment at a particularly raucous New Year’s Eve party created the perfect occasion for that familiar conversation. Your best friend rhetorically jabs: “So we’re all in agreement that Rise of the Lycans is the worst Underworld movie,

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Your 2017 Movie Preview

Exciting news, movie fans! Remember how there were movies in 2016? Well, if the rumors we’re hearing are true, there are also going to be movies in 2017. A lot of them — maybe even 30. To help prepare your body and mind for this eventuality, we have compiled a schedule of the highlights. All

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