James Harden’s Postseason To-Do List
- Ice cream. Ice cream all the time.
- Lose Game 1 against the Warriors
- Visit National Beard Museum
- Get tickets for AC/DC with Axl Rose
- Cancel Bruce Bowen tutoring sessions
- Lose Game 2 against the Warriors
- Finally play that stupid 2K16 “Livin’ Da Dream” thing
- More ice cream. Ice cream even more of the time.
- Buy more cones
- Win Game 3 against the Warriors so they don’t suspect anything
- Join book club and pretend to really get Dave Eggers
- Cedar Point!
- Open National Beard Museum
- Lose Game 4 against the Warriors
- Watch all 87 “Chopped” episodes featuring cancer patients/survivors
- Alpacas for the backyard
- Invest in Black & Decker’s new video-streaming service
- Play Game 5 against the Warriors (I should’ve thought this through more.)
Dustin Petzold is the editor-in-chief and resident listmaker at Crooked Scoreboard. You should follow the site on Twitter.
Nate Koehler is a cartoonist and illustrator based in Madison, WI. You should follow him on Twitter, too.