NFL Quick Snaps, Super Bowl Wrap-Up

Niners legend Joe Montana flipped the coin. It’s the first time in two years a decent Niners quarterback appeared at a home game.

coin toss

I feel so bad for all the rich kids with front-row Super Bowl seats who went home without a ball from Cam Newton. What a travesty.

Maybe Cam Newton thought Von Miller was a child. That’s why Cam gave him that football.

Peyton threw for 141 yards. That’s almost as much as Cam Newton fumbled for.

The Broncos went 1 for 14 on 3rd down conversions. Still a better record than conversion therapy.

After a terrible postseason, Demaryius Thomas asked his mother to please go back to prison.

Betty White said she taught Cam Newton everything he knows. If this lesson was on Saturday night, I believe her.

Marshawn announced his retirement. Now that “Beast Mode” is gone, I’d like to nominate Eddie Lacy to be “Beast a la Mode.”

This just in: Mike Carey says the Panthers won.

Wait, have we ever seen Steve Harvey and Mike Carey in the same room together?

Charlie Sheen reached out to Johnny Manziel on Twitter. This is what rock bottom looks like. When you get advice from Charlie Sheen. And need it.

You know it’s a bad day when you wish it was Emilio who reached out to you.

Johnny, when your friend sees a beautiful woman and says, “I want to hit that,” he’s talking about sex. Try that. More fun, fewer cops.

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Costaki Economopoulos is a comedian who doesn’t have any beer sponsorships to name-drop. This marks the end of NFL Quick Snaps for the 2015 season. They’ll be back for the 2016 NFL Draft. In the meantime, you should follow Costaki on Twitter.

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