It’s hard to find fresh material during the NFL’s long offseason, which lasts 52 percent of the year. Here are some writing prompts for sportswriters:
1. If you could give your team’s star player a superpower, what would it be? How would this superpower affect his contributions to the game? The superpower cannot involve fire-starting or weapons, since those are generally prohibited in stadiums.
2. Pretend your team has hired Johnny Weir to design its 2015 uniforms. He has included sequins, feathers, zebra print, glitter, and removable wings. How do the second-grade girls at your local elementary school react to this news?
3. The NFL just changed its PAT rules. Speculate on other ways the league could change how the game is played. Use the following in your response: 300 million, flying knee, backstroke, and inner child.
4. The NFL is considering playing more games in foreign countries. If the NFL had time-travel capabilities, where would you want to see an NFL game played? You cannot choose the Colosseum in Ancient Rome.
5. If Roger Goodell resigns, whom would you like to see as his replacement? Why? Your choices are Benjamin Franklin, Julie Andrews, John Steinbeck, Dan Rather, or your eighth-grade math teacher.
6. Fans are wondering if there will be a new “Sunday Night Football” theme song. Speculate on new theme songs, including potential lyrics and melodies. Include at least three genres, one of which must be uncensored gangsta rap.
7. The NFL is not using Roman numerals for Super Bowl L, er, Super Bowl 50. How can they honor Ancient Roman culture and the foundation of Western civilization in the wake of this decision? Think beyond the obvious. I’m sure the NFL has already considered togas in the broadcasting booth, lions on the playing field, Latin subtitles during the broadcast, and profiles on Classics scholars in the league.
8. Personal responsibility is an important characteristic of an NFL athlete. Should the NFL eliminate referees and have the players police themselves during games? In your commentary, be sure to cite Sartre’s Being and Nothingness.
Photo credit: Takashi Hososhima – Creative Commons
Dani Bostick is a writer, but only thanks to prompts. You should follow her on Twitter.***