It was a victory for Old Glory, but a defeat for international harmony.
Welcome to Hockey Hell
Last night I took a walk through the woods near my house. It was chilly, and I had only my hockey jersey and commemorative toque to warm me. In the distance, I spied a fire, framed between two L-shaped maple trees. I made my way over to it, and when I pushed through the bushes
The NHL’s Lesser-Known Rivalries
Rivalries, like pricey beers and jubilant doofushood, define sports. Nowhere are these parallel antagonisms more juicy–or more obscure–than in the NHL. With the bottomless pockets of Crooked Scoreboard at my disposal, I’ve decided to take a look at some of the lesser-known rivalries in hockey. Ilya Kovalchuk vs. Alexander Semin This is a battle of
The Washington Capitals Are Absolutely Not Russian Spies
They say the devil will be attractive. They say you should keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and probably two or three other demographics in even closer proximity still, depending on your level of animosity towards them. There is no city closer to the beating heart and pulsing medulla oblongata of America than Washington
The Aftermath of Super Bowl 50
It’s been six months since the Denver Broncos won “Super Bowl 50: The L,” as it has become known. Denver did not stop with football supremacy. Their victory led to political upheaval the likes of which the world had never before seen. While it may be too late for me, my generation, or my children,
Peyton in Purgatory
The subject, bleary-eyed and squinting, rubs at his considerable brow and sits upright. Looking around, he sees nothing but a glinting white. He reaches into his pocket and applies dabs of eye black to his cheeks and monolithic forehead. “Hello,” says a voice, far-off but intimate, powerful yet soothingly gentle. “Howdy,” says Peyton, reflexively turning
Robert Griffin The Blurred
In the beginning, depending on whom you ask, there was nothing in the universe but an unfathomable swirling void, and the potential for a firmer kind of squishiness. Then again, depending on where you get your info, either a being of infinitely concentrated benevolence forged the world from a potent cocktail of will and wrath,
