Town Council Votes on Participation Trophies

Monday night’s four-hour West Sunberry, PA Town Council meeting featured abundant citizen comment regarding youth athletics, and was capped with a vote to continue the time-honored tradition of awarding participation trophies to members of youth sports teams. Following more than three hours of debate, legislators ruled 5-2 in favor of continuing to award participation trophies

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NFL Quick Snaps, Week 8

The Chiefs beat the Lions 45-10 in London. Usually when you get beaten this badly in England, you’re in the stands at a soccer game. How did the Lions get home? You can’t bring a dumpster fire onto a plane.

NFL Quick Snaps, Week 7

The Dolphins were up 41-0 over the Texans at the half. Texans haven’t been embarrassed like this since… no, they’ve been embarrassed like this. Have you ever seen a rodeo?

Lawrence-Leyland Romance Rumors True! Click for the Deets

Photo: Jennifer Lawrence (left) longingly looks on as her lover Jim Leyland (right) skillfully maneuvers his bat. Months of speculation that rocked both Los Angeles and northeastern Ohio have finally given way to some clarity. Under fire from gossip reporters and paparazzi, Hunger Games megastar Jennifer Lawrence has gone public about her relationship with retired MLB manager

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Louisville Basketball’s New Recruiting Methods

There has been quite a hubbub in the sports community after it was revealed that basketball recruiters at the University of Louisville know how to do their jobs. It’s pretty simple: if you give strippers and prostitutes to high-school athletes, they’ll come to your school. Brilliant!

A Letter about Baseball to My 11-Year-Old Self

Dear Younger Lucas, Listen, I get it. You’re one of probably 17 Toronto Blue Jays fans in Maine, and you’ve had a rough go of it recently. Everyone else is pumped about the Red Sox finally breaking the Curse. The Jays, foolishly, didn’t generate the budget room they needed to keep Carlos Delgado—the Puerto Rican

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NFL Quick Snaps, Week 6

What was that crazy play the Colts ran? Maybe it counts as a “trick play” because it makes your faith in the coach disappear. I think it was technically a handoff. They handed the game to the Patriots.

New DC Football Nicknames That Don’t Suck

In 1995, Washington DC basketball owner Abe Pollin changed the name of the team he owned. Why? His team was called the Washington Bullets at a time when his city had a reputation as the murder capital of the world. The change happened after Pollin’s friend, Yitzak Rabin, was shot to death in Israel. “My

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