NFL Quick Snaps, Free Agent Frenzy

Adam Schefter reported that Colin Kaepernick wants to play for the Browns, further proving that the NFL has to do something about concussions. ESPN predicts that Johnny will sit for a while. I don’t think he’ll be sitting. He’ll be dancing awkwardly with a champagne bottle.

NFL Quick Snaps, Super Bowl Wrap-Up

Niners legend Joe Montana flipped the coin. It’s the first time in two years a decent Niners quarterback appeared at a home game. I feel so bad for all the rich kids with front-row Super Bowl seats who went home without a ball from Cam Newton. What a travesty.

As Goes Oil, So Goes Johnny Manziel

In the cultural imagination, no two things are more associated with the State of Texas than oil production and football. Texas tea and “Texas Forever”. As such, it’s scarcely a surprise that the Lone Star state would be responsible for someone like Johnny Manziel, who represents the very center of the Venn diagram between the

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NFL Quick Snaps, Week 15

The Panthers are unbeaten. Greg Hardy’s girlfriend is jealous. You know how you know Beckham is really mad? He attacks you with BOTH hands. This week, the Force Awakened! And so did the Falcons! Unfortunately, only one of them will still be playing in January. The Falcons, of course, were undefeated at 5-0. That was

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NFL Quick Snaps, Week 13

The Panthers are still perfect. The last time Carolina was undefeated was in the fight for tobacco subsidies. Marcus Mariota had an 87-yard touchdown run. I think it finally hit him. “Wait, I moved from Hawaii to Tennessee? I gotta get the hell out of here!”

The Cleveland Browns Guide to Parenting

Chapter 1: Coming up with a Name The Browns were born in 1946, and named after their first coach, Paul Brown. Your kid was likely born later, but naming him or her after your favorite coach is still a great idea. Give a thought to Coach Ignatius “Rusty” Coleman, who made kindergarten fun (and whose

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NFL Quick Snaps, Week 12

I took a break from eating pie so that I could stick in a fork in the Falcons. For the Falcons, it’s A Tale of Two Seasons. They suck the Dickens. Last year the Falcons got in trouble for piping in fake crowd noise. They need to pump in some fake offense.