Most people know me as NFL Commissioner and Shield-Protector-in-Chief Roger Goodell. But my life isn’t just about football, money, and football money. Like many a full-figured Roger before me, I’m a cinephile. In the continuing spirit of unchecked administrative power, I’ve singlehandedly selected the best and worst of 2015 in this year’s installment of The
2016 New Year’s Resolutions
Folks in the sports world have big plans for 2016.
I Don’t Want Your NFL Team
Dear St. Louisans, or Oaklanders, or San Diegans, Sometime next year, one or two or maybe even all three of your NFL teams will move to Los Angeles. You will be heartbroken and emotionally shattered and will have internal conversations about whether you can continue to support your team now that it has returned to
NFL Relocates All 32 Teams to Los Angeles
Ending months of relocation rumors surrounding the Oakland Raiders, San Diego Chargers, and St. Louis Rams franchises, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell announced today that all 32 NFL teams will move to Los Angeles prior to the 2016 NFL season. “In trying to find ways to move a club to Los Angeles, we realized what an
Roger Goodell Suspends Kicker, Because Why Not?
An NFL spokesperson announced today that Commissioner Roger Goodell has suspended rookie kicker Dan Smith of BYU for the entirety of the 2015 season. When asked about the reason for the suspension, Goodell cackled and gently stroked his Persian cat. “To be honest, I just love suspending people,” Goodell said. “It’s fun! I get to
Thou Shalt Not Start Falsely: The Gospel of the NFL
Belichick 12:4-7 “And, lo!, though he gazethed upon the enemy, he could not see their signals, and he knew not their meaning. So he gave orders to his men, saying, ‘Hark! We will not be victorious unless we know our enemy’s plans. Go ye therefore and observe their signals.’ Thus spoke Belichick and it