Tennis Is Way More Awesome Than I Thought

Tennis is a game of dorks, right? Wrong, meathead. It’s the toughest sport there is. Why? Because it’s mobbed up and fixed, like all sports were back in the good ol’ days. Corrupt players getting paid off by Italian and Russian gambling syndicates is way more badass than anything going on in the UFC. Here’s

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Eric Quigley Settling In as Tennis Pro

Eric Quigley is going to great lengths to make it as a tennis professional. So far this year, Quigley, who is currently 354th in the ATP rankings, has traveled to California, Florida, Texas, Tennessee, Arkansas, and Illinois. He’s also made trips abroad to Canada, Mexico, and Nigeria. “I don’t want to be going to places

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President Obama Forms Emergency Task Force to Save American Tennis

With tennis legends Pete Sampras and Andre Agassi at his side, President Barack Obama declared a state of emergency yesterday, and announced the formation of a task force designed to save professional tennis in the United States. The program, called Foundation Of Our Tennis: Fixing America’s Unconscionable Losing Tradition (FOOT: FAULT) was initiated via executive

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Net Losses: A Play in One Act

Scene: It is late Saturday, September 6. Two CBS executives are seated next to each other at a large conference table. Executive #1: I can’t wait for the Federer-Djokovic final! Executive #2: Me neither! The two greatest tennis players currently playing, doing battle in the most wonderful city in America. E1: Think of the ratings. Everyone loves Roger

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