Much has been made of Laremy Tunsil’s draft-day adventures, but few have looked at the commercial and economic fallout of the infamous video leak. ESPN has graciously lent us the services of sports business analyst Darren Rovell, whose shrewd analytical strategy of wild guesses is always right and never wrong.
It was the clip seen ‘round the Twitterverse.
Leaked video footage of former Ole Miss offensive tackle Laremy Tunsil has caused dramatic ripple effects through the business world. The video, in which Tunsil inhales what is presumably marijuana from a gas mask, was posted to Tunsil’s Twitter account minutes prior to the first round of the 2016 NFL Draft.
According to sources, as well as the efficient market’s response to the video, marijuana is a drug that is bad.
While Tunsil, a presumptive top-5 draft pick, went spiraling down draft boards and lost millions of dollars on his rookie contract for besmirching the league with his unprofessionalism, the biggest loser of the night was undoubtedly Rothco, a leading proprietor of military-grade tactical gear. The Long Island-based retailer has not-so-secretly pursued an athlete gas mask endorsement since Johnny Manziel was spawned, but Thursday night proved to be another disappointment for Rothco, as Tunsil’s video instead featured a store-brand knockoff.
Estimates, which ESPN’s very own Nate Silver has described as “utter horseshit,” have Rothco missing out on 3.2 percent domestic market share on mask sales in the fiscal year, a number that has caused many users to cough in amazement and say, verbatim, “whoa, really? Whoa.” While scientists have tried for decades to quantify the unquantifiable, we will sadly never know precisely how much damage Rothco’s brand sustained.
Perhaps the biggest winner of the night was Target, which many consumers know as a friendly neighborhood discount retailer where one can both “expect more” and “pay less.” Target sells a name-brand gas mask for the everyday low price of $17.99, although, if you’re ordering online, free shipping is available on orders over $25. The product description notes that this mask is merely intended for costume purposes, and not for getting, as Bill Murray famously said in Caddyshack, “stoned to the bejeezus-belt.”
Caddyshack, a 1980 American sports comedy film directed by Harold Ramis and written by Brian Doyle-Murray, made $39.8 million at the box office.
Finally, here’s another iconic bit of market savvy from Target, in honor of Tunsil’s visible discomfort during his press conference. This week only: Buy one, get one FREE on Dulcolax Suppositories! This deal is only available at participating Target locations, while supplies last.
When asked for comment, a Target employee said that the store is typically open from 8 AM to 11 PM.
***
Lucas Hubbard is a writer based in Durham, NC. Learn more about his brand on Twitter.