The Funnie Side of Football

If there’s one thing I know about the Internet, it’s that the people contained therein are really, really nostalgic about the 90s. I get it, I remember the 90s, too. Clinton was president! People watched Pauly Shore movies! Both things that are different today. But ou people seriously cannot stop talking about this decade, much as people slightly older couldn’t stop talking about the 80s and people slightly older than that couldn’t stop talking about the 70s, ad infinitum. That’s why I wanted to write about a matter that is highly relevant to today’s web surfer: old Nickelodeon shows. Here is one example:

Peyton Manning is essentially Doug Funnie.

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Peyton Manning is known for his endearingly awkward demeanor and freakish skill set at one very specific thing. For Peyton, it’s throwing footballs, for Doug, it’s playing his banjo and being Quailman. Just as Doug’s friends have included such bizarre people as Skeeter (is turquoise) and Pork Chop (is dog who walks on two feet), Peyton has gone through a series of strange best friends in his career, like Marvin Harrison (perhaps involved in a murder) and Wes Welker (perhaps took molly at the Kentucky Derby and gave out $100 bills to spectators). Both have nemeses who have foiled a number of their best-laid plans, Doug has the dastardly vice principal Lamar Bone, who inevitably mucks up any fun he seeks to have and Peyton has suave Ugg model Tom Brady, who cost him the chance to play in any amount of Super Bowls. Both Peyton and Doug have a misunderstood sibling; Doug’s sister Judy wears sunglasses everywhere and is generally cast aside by classmates despite her clear intellect, Peyton’s brother Eli gives off the impression of someone who can barely read, but has won two of the most dramatic Super Bowls ever played.

If any of this seems like a stretch, it probably is, but one thing is certain, any quarterback who ever throws a pass to Tiquan Underwood is definitely Arnold to Underwood’s Gerald.