Bill Raftery Narrates One of My Romantic Encounters

Nothing evokes March Madness like the sound of Bill Raftery’s high-decibel, catch-phrase-riddled commentary. But you might be surprised to know that he puts in a lot of hours outside of university basketball venues. He’ll do pretty much anything, as long as you provide the microphone and the ham sandwich. So I hired him to follow

Continue Reading →

The Five Classic Kiss Cam Couples

Of the innumerable gimmicks that sports-marketing folks have dreamt up to keep people entertained during stoppages in play—from mascot fights to inconveniently timed coach interviews—the Kiss Cam reigns atop my list. When I go to a game, I always find myself looking forward to this moment, even when the game itself is interesting. It’s a

Continue Reading →

Town Council Votes on Participation Trophies

Monday night’s four-hour West Sunberry, PA Town Council meeting featured abundant citizen comment regarding youth athletics, and was capped with a vote to continue the time-honored tradition of awarding participation trophies to members of youth sports teams. Following more than three hours of debate, legislators ruled 5-2 in favor of continuing to award participation trophies

Continue Reading →

Why I Am Not a Steelers Fan

I am not a Pittsburgh Steelers fan. Not anymore. I used to be, almost exclusively because I grew up just north of Pittsburgh, in a land where the Steelers mean more than most things to many people—a place where some people say shit like they “bleed black and gold.” In my hometown, Steelers fandom is

Continue Reading →