Seahawks safety Earl Thomas was penalized for hugging a referee. What did they flag him for, sportsmanlike conduct? Unnecessary gentleness? Illegal hands to the shoulders?

Donald Trump came to Thomas’ defense. He said, “You’re a football star. You can just grab a ref by the package.”

The Browns’ spelling snafu is really just a matter of rearranging a few things. Shame they can’t fix the Browns the same way.

During the Patriots vs. Bills game, a fan threw a sex toy on the field. That’s nothing. Cleveland throws 11 out there every week.

A referee kicked it off the field. Hey, if you can put it through the uprights from 30 yards out, there are a few teams that could use you.

The Jacksonville vs. Tennessee “Color Rush” game was more like a game of Clue. “Who murdered Thursday Night Football’s ratings? It was the Jaguars. In the Titan Room. With the Mustard Uniforms.”

It’s official: Arizona QB Carson Palmer is old and fragile. At least he’s already in a great state for retirees.

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Costaki Economopoulos is a comedian who occasionally has to dodge sex toys on stage. You should follow him on Twitter.