Oh No! Kirk Cousins and Robert Griffin III Are Snowed in at Redskins Park

ASHBURN, VA — They probably DON’T like that!

Washington Redskins starting quarterback Kirk Cousins and former starter Robert Griffin III are snowed in at the Redskins practice facility after a historic blizzard struck the Washington region on Friday. AWKWARD.

The two snowbirds were the only ones who didn’t heed the warnings of the impending Snowghazi that’s currently pummeling the nation’s capital. They now sit alone in the players lounge at Redskins Park, with Kirk trying to lighten the mood, mostly out of remorse for taking Robert’s job. Star-crossed lovers, right?

We drained the last bit of power from both players’ smartphones after talking to them about this unfortunate situation.

Cousins said he was upstairs in the film room “reliving all [his] great moments from throughout the year” when he just lost track of time. Oops!

Griffin came to the facility because he left his dream diary in his locker (“There was nothing for me to do at practice, so I usually napped,” he said.) But when he arrived, he saw Kirk’s car in the parking lot and it “brought back a lot of bad feelings.” He decided to take those feelings out on the punching bag at the gym. He punched the bag so hard his fingers started to bleed, and by the time he bandaged it up, “there were already five inches outside,” and he said his car just wouldn’t make it.

He’s just so passionate about Kirk! I love it. #RelationshipGoals

There are enough protein bars to last them through Sunday, but what will they be doing in their little snow fortress?

Kirk just “wants to have a chill time” with Heisman Trophy-winner Robert. He was imagining watching Ride Along 2, followed by an intense game of Settlers of Catan, or something else from the Redskins’ “weirdly extensive” collection of board games. “We’re gonna be stuck here until Sunday at the earliest, and I don’t really know the guy too well, so I see this has a perfect bonding opportunity.” Awwwwww! <3 They are just the cutest!

Robert wasn’t as excited to hang out with the fourth-rounder from Michigan State, saying he just wanted to “go sit in a corner and read Bukowski.” When asked whether he was excited to spend the weekend with Kirk, he hung up the phone. Playing hard-to-get, aren’t you RG3? ;P

The craziest part? Kirk knew that center Kory Lichtensteiger has a plow on his pickup truck and would have given the two of them a ride if he asked, but Kirk says that he “just wants to get to know Robert better” and finds the snowstorm a perfect opportunity to be nice to him and begin to feel less guilty for taking RG3’s job at the start of the season. Whatever the reason, the cold never bothered these two cuties anyway.


Raynell Cooper is currently stuck in the Washington blizzard, too. You can read his pleas for food and water on Twitter.